12.18
Caught the midnight showing of Avatar at the local Imax. Wasn’t really planning on seeing it, but was invited, so I went along. I must say, I did enjoy it. It was a good movie, I must say that I am impressed, and if you do see it, I recommend catching the 3D version. The visuals in this movie are just freaking stunning. The CG isn’t cartoony or so real that it looks creepy, I’m willing to say that they got it just about perfect. Which is good, because if you spend 300 million dollars, it better look perfect. From the stunning flights through the floating mountains to the fast paced chases through the glowing (everything glows in this movie. EVERYTHING) you are treated to what has to be the best version of ocular heroin that money can buy. And the 3D just adds so much more to pull you into the scenes. Amazing, really amazing. And the best part, there never once pulled a 3D gag. Not one. There aren’t any arrows fired straight into the audience, no spit takes, nothing at all to pull you out of the splendor that is Pandora.
And when one talks about the visuals, you have to mention the beauty of the Na’Vi women. Sure they are computer generated, blue, and almost a furry’s wet dream, but I’d still hit it. In fact, I did a little thinking about this one. The Na’Vi are about 8 or 9 feet tall, they are pretty much giants. At first I figured that they would have to have matching giant sized genitals, so having sex with my Na’Vi dream girl would be like throwing a hot dog into the Fort Pitt Tunnels, but then I realized that you never once see a blue penis. Watchmen showed us that if the penis is blue and huge, you will see it again and again and again. You never once see a penis. This leads me to believe that they either lack them, or they are human sized or smaller so as to not be visible on their larger frames. If they are human sized, then it would go to stand that their women have human sized vaginas. This means that I could totally have sex with a Na’Vi woman.
Speaking of Na’Vi, they really screwed up with that name. I didn’t see one boat the entire movie. They should have been called Cal’Vri, or Inf’antry, or even Air’Forci…
The story line is pretty good. It’s long, but it doesn’t drag anywhere, and if I hadn’t drank my first extra large drink before the movie started, and drank the second by about half an hour in, I would never have realized that it was as long as it was. At this point, I would like to advise those of you who are going to see it today to either get smaller drinks, or bring something to piss in. It’s a long time to hold it all in, and there isn’t really a place where you will want to get up to relieve yourself. There are places where the action slows down, and places where nothing is really happening, but you still won’t want to get out of your seat. As I said before, it does a fantastic job of pulling you in and making you feel in as part of the action.
If this is what you get when you give James Cameron a blank check, then I really suggest you keep those giant novelty checks flowing in his direction.
Oh, and I totally almost forgot. The first animals that you see on Pandora are totally displacer beasts. They never actually displaced, which was disappointing, but I still had myself a little nerdgasm when they came on screen.